White Stripes: Icky Thump

Sometimes, when I've got a particularly kick-ass new record on, I get this big shit-eating grin on my face and it won't go away. It has to be a new record, mind you, fresh for consumption, and it's really gotta jam, you know. And what'll happen is, I'll have it on while I'm browsing around - as I am want to do - and all of a sudden I'll have to stand up. Then I'll find myself dancing all alone in my apartment with the aforementioned grin plastered all over the place. And the only thing for it is to listen to the damn thing over and over ad nauseum until I've purged it from my system. Though the really good ones, they never leave you for real. They hang with the monkey.

Icky Thump is one of these, so beware. Round about Little Creme Soda mine kicked in, though I peaked at Rag and Bone, yowling at the ceiling with Jack and Meg. And the rest is sweet butter as well. I'll lay it out track by track, and we'll see what we get on the way down. (FYI, the videos with *** next to the title were created by yours truly.)

1. Icky Thump

Good lord, what is that glorious drone. An electric bagpipe? Nope. I dug around, and it's an old-fangled doodad making all that noise. Specifically a 1946 Univox Synthesizer. This thing carries around it's own 6 watt amp and an 8" speaker, and was made 'fore yo daddy sucked air. Oh, and it can only play one voicing at a time, thus Uni Vox. It's the Devil's own pipes. It's the manic speedfreak noodlings of some middle-eastern flautist. Also, Jack's guitar is having some kind of dual epileptic/tourettic seizure during most of the instrumental break, which makes me smile indeed. Rock as violent psychotic reaction. And when he's not causing electric convulsions, he's grinding out the dankest, slow groove riffs he can muster. And Meg's holding it all together, which is no mean feat. To quote a lyric later on in the album, it must be like "containing an explosion". Check this video out, btw, Jack co-produced it, and it's like every fevered vision I have of the black out spots in my memory. Only in Spanish.

2. You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You're Told)

A bitter anthem, aimed at the weak-willed. I see a crowd of angry concert goers chanting this with their fists in the air, as a polo-shirted dweeb gets tread on by his nagging nag. There is an air of tongue-in-cheekery about the track though, a playful cadence that keeps the edge off, though it doesn't deflect the blow.

3. 300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues

Ah ha, a sneak attack. Just when you thought it was safe to settle, those pretty mellow blues get up and try to strangle your brain from behind. Seriously, that acoustic riff is so beautiful it's sad, but I should have been prepared for violence 'cause the instruments seem to be straining against the softer dynamic, getting close to the skin a couple of times before finely breaking through. I guess I should have figured it out with the lyric "I'm breakin' my teeth off / Tryin' to bite my lip". Broken teeth are never the sign of good things to come.

4. Conquest

Think you know where this record is going? Think twice, bitch. Coming straight out of left with a vengeance, this Patti Page cover is the soundtrack playing when Clint Eastwood rides a circus elephant into the rabid center of a mosh pit and starts taking names. This one was a grower, folks, so let it live on you for a while. You'll see.

5. Bone Broke

Bone Broke doesn't really make itself known. It's solid rock, and Jack's vocals carry the track through well enough, but sandwiched between the oddity of "Conquest" and "Prickly Thorn" it just gets lost in fanfare (literally).

6. Prickly Thorn, But Sweetly Worn

I really should lump this track and the next together. Alone this track would be too silly, too folksy, to fit. What's amazing and slightly alarming about this track is it's sincerity, it's wide eyed rural heartiness. This is high-land hobbit music, except...

7. St. Andrews (The Battle is in the Air)***

....all of a sudden all those crazy halflings drop acid, the fire melts into the sky, and it all comes whirling down around you. Combined, these two tracks provide a much needed interlude, a breather before "Icky Thump" hits you with it's patented grin producing one-two sucker punch.

8. Little Creme Soda***

Step 1: Crank up the volume. Maybe the last few tracks lulled you into a false sense of security. You're all: "Okay so, this is some avant-nonsense self-indulgent headspace rock. I'm gonna make some nachos.". To which I reply: "Sit the flock down, you miserable wretch and listen up good.". This song rocks so hard it goes a full minute of pounding growl before dropping Jack's half muttered proclamations into the mix. And what deranged musings they are, Jack spitting them out with the conviction of a raving street preacher. Oh well, oh well, oh well.

9. Rag & Bone

Step 2: Put your shoes on. Open the window. Crank it up some more. Turn the base up, give your neighbors a taste. This track is dripping with tasty goodness. It's hilarious, it rocks socks, and its good to get down with. I love the spoken interplay between Jack and Meg, Meg so sweet and insidious, and Jack with the perfect charlatan's bark. I've found myself shouting "Rag & Bone" randomly throughout the day.

10. I'm Slowly Turning Into You

Loooooove the organ in this one y'all. The other thing I love is that this is a song about a relationship that doesn't settle for an easy answer. Love is complicated and difficult, it ain't got no fairy tale resolutions. (BTW, the fan video I found for this track is fairly deranged and hilarious.)

11. A Martyr For My Love For You***

This song starts like it should end with a moral about not dealing with the devil. In a sense it does, only Jack's the devil, and he's trying to save some cute little thang from himself. God knows the Devil never changes. Another great host of organs presides over large chunks of this track as well, and we're all a little better for it.

12. Catch Hell Blues

Old fashioned style slide blues meld into percussive waves of distortion topped with a healthy portion of electric nursery rhyme squeal. Amen.

13. Effect & Cause

I think Jack is channeling Dylan on this one. It's got Okie folk progressions, and a slyly playful tone, and a tambourine for cryin' out loud. A good simple way to end it. It's like the shows over, but they're just playing this one for the stragglers while the roadies pack up the gear.

Well, we've made it to the other side. Congratulations. Go back and start again from the beginning. And say hi to the monkey on the way there.